Things To Do When You're Bored and My Classroom Rules

This is a long post, but you will be laughing the whole way through!


AT SCHOOL:
WARNING: do not do all of these in the same day!

Try to develop psychic powers, then use 'em.
Inflate a beach ball and throw it around the room.
Sing Show Tunes.
Make loud animal noises then deny doing it.
Think of new pick lines. See if they work.
Pretend you're flying a jet fighter in the Gulf War.
Churn some butter.
Conceive a brand new language.
Walls made of brick. Count 'em.
Plot revenge against someone.
Think of nicknames for everyone you know.
See how long you can hold your breath.
Take your pants off and give them to the professor.
Chew on your arm until someone notices.
Change seats every three minutes.
Think of ways to cheat at Trivial Pursuit.
Shave.
Run across the room, tag someone and say "You're it.".
Announce to the class that you are God and that you're angry.
Think of five new ways to use your shoes.
Start a wave.
Walk around the room begging for spare change.
Roast marshmallows.
Practice phrasing your answers in the form of a question.
Crawl around the room humming the music from Mission Impossible.
Take apart your desk.
Pretend to communicate with your home planet.
Play rock-paper-scissors with yourself. Accuse your left hand of cheating.
Do a quick tap dance routine.
Try bird-watching.
Walk up the aisle yelling, "Popcorn! Hot popcorn here!".
Throw your backpack at someone.
Run to the window, then say, "Sorry, I thought I saw the Bat-signal".
Ask the person in front of you to marry you.
Start laughing really hard and say, "Oh, now I get it.".
Make a sundial.
Give yourself a new identity.
Write a screenplay about a diabetic Swedish girl who can't swim.
Dig an escape tunnel.
Announce your candidacy for President.
Devise a secret code with your friends then hand in the homework in that code
Continually ask questions so that the professor can’t give homework
Answer the teacher’s questions in slow motion
Answer questions only with one word
Scream random words without anybody noticing it’s you
Continuously yawn until everyone is yawning
Ask your professor personal questions
Every time the professor finishes talking clap
Eat paper
Talk very fast
Call the professor “Mom” or “Dad”
Count your hair
Talk with an accent
Answer questions in a different language
Fake spasms
Pretend to be scared of everything
Draw cartoon characters of your classmates or of the professors
Quote Family Guy
Write out plan on how to conquer the world
Pretend to Choke
Pretend to be drunk
Tap your feet on the ground loudly
Raise your hand for every question your teacher asks you but answer “oh i forgot”
Pretend to slip
Wink at the teacher
Wink at random people
Smack your thigh and smile at the people who look at you
Smile the whole lesson
When the teacher enters the room give a low bow
Pretend to sleep and snore loudly
Drop your pen and say “achoo”
Ask your teacher where the potions room is
Ask the teacher where he/she is
Fake Fart Sounds
Ask the teacher for his/her phone number
Spill you pencil case/box on the floor
Pretend to be sick
Pretend to have photographic memory
Fake flashbacks
Tell people “I’m Pregnant”
Ask out the teacher
Repeat movie lines
Pretend you are Harry Potter and your scar hurts
Sing your favourite song
Twitter the whole lesson
Pretend to be Indian
Write a love note to the teacher
Talk to yourself
Snort Eraser dust
When the teacher enters the room Scream “next”
When the Teacher enters the room ask for a refund
On your assignments write very small or extremely big
Act like a nerd
Pull a “Michael Jackson”
Put some red ink on a ruler, then slash your wrists with it so people think you cut yourself
Talk in slang
Get into a fight with yourself
Pretend you are a gangster
Pretend you are high
Bring a bag of flour to school and on your desk make lines of flour and attempt to snort them
Once the teacher enters the room get the whole class to sing the national anthem
Act high
Stare at one object in the classroom for one lesson
Rate the teacher
Pretend you are “Susan Boyle” and sing “I Dream a Dream
Touch a Plug and pretend to get electrocuted
Fart
Sleep
Make odd animal noises
Act like an undercover spy
Write down everything the teacher says while repeating what they say
Laugh Stupidly for no reason
Act as if you were blind
Sit on the floor and beg for money
Think of the best excuses for being late/ not handing in your homework
Lick your stationary seductively while staring at a person
Begin Cussing at your self
Talk in gangster rap
Challenge your teacher to a rap battle
Pretend to chew gum
Point out the window and say “LOOK EVERYBODY SPIDERMAN” once every one looks say “oh too late he’s gone now”
Write a love note and leave it on the chair when you change period
Play an air guitar
Throw paper airplanes
Say random facts about people
Go up to someone you have never talked to before then tell them “i have this problem for years now i can’t take it anymore”
Narrate your life
Beat box
Whistle at random things
Count random things
Pass notes to people you have no interest in
Ask personal details about people you would never have talked to
Play your favorite song in your head
Think of what the teacher’s life was like
Rhyme the last words of everybody’s sentences
Play paper football
Search in your bag/binder for things you don’t have
Attempt to Find Nemo
Take some take and give yourself a waxing
Speak in improper English like ain't, and when the teacher corrects, nod like you understand and continue to speak improperly.
Randomly get out of your seat and sit on the floor.
When it is very quiet, raise your hand and insist it is too loud.
If the person next to you is quiet, turn and inform them that they are distracting you.
When the teacher calls on you to answer the question, answer `Two!'
Randomly raise your hand and say “The answer is three!”
Give your teacher a note that uses improper English and misspelled words. Have the note insisting that you are `the most bestest' in the class and demand to be moved up.
During a test, tell the teachers `the voices' are making you cheat
Color red dots all over your arm and show the teacher, and tell her/him that you are allergic to School.
Talk about the road kill squirrel you saw on your way to school. Say that it is your dinner. Talk in a redneck voice.
Take out sock puppets and play with them, and occasionally have them grab your classmate's hair. When the teacher looks, keep the sock on your hand and point to your classmate and tell the teacher that the classmate is attacking you with puppets
If your teacher walks around the room during the test, cover your test and glare at them suspiciously.
If your teacher walks around the room during a test, raise your hand and tell the teacher that they are cheating off you.
When the teacher calls on you to answer a question, talk in a creepy voice and say `I'll never tell' and a few questions later raise your hand and ask why you haven't been allowed to answer a question yet.
Ask to go to the bathroom. Stay in your seat, and when asked if you are going, say `I just did'
Raise your hand and point to a person on the other side of the room. Insist that that person is cheating off you.
Say that someone across the room is using their telepathic (mind-reading) abilities to cheat off of you.
Ask to go to the bathroom. Get up and walk into the wall. Furrow your brow, glare at the wall and walk into it again. Smile sheepishly and then walk out the door.
When coming back from bathroom, walk through the door. Then ask how you got there.
Raise your hand and ask if you can be excused to skip class.
Meow and bark occasionally.
Hold your head and groan, then tell your teacher that your multiple personalities are fighting.
Walk into class and look around confused. Ask where you are, then say “Oh, this is school! I thought this was McDonalds!
Read a book, and when class starts, raise your hand and say that they are interrupting your reading
Stumble into class, slur your words and tell your teacher `I swear to drunk I'm not God!'
Bring handcuffs into class and wear a plastic fake police badge. Tell your teacher that he/she is under arrest.
Walk into class with handcuffs on your wrist and say “Sorry for being late, I just broke out of prison.” (even if you aren't late)
Meow to answer a question
Raise your hand and introduce everyone to your imaginary friend Bob. Then loudly whisper to Bob saying that you hate this class.
Chew gum in class. If teacher says `I hope you brought enough for everybody' take out packs of gum and start passing out gum.
Smack gum loudly. When told to throw it out, take out the gum and hold in on your finger. Then insist you don't have any gum, and put it back in your mouth.
Stand up and introduce yourself at the beginning of class (even though everyone knows you). Inform everyone that you have had `the problem' for three years now. Then act confused and ask if the class is Alcoholics Anonymous.
Shove your heaviest book off your desk. Repeat. Glare at someone else every time the teacher looks.
Cry out randomly that everyone is against you.
Tell your teacher there is a disturbance the Force
Make a cone shape out of paper and glue red tissue paper to the top. Scribble/draw red and orange all over it. Wear it on your head and tell everyone that you're a volcano.
Tell your teacher you don't need to do your homework because you're skipping school tomorrow.
Tell your teacher that you're going to be sick tomorrow.
In anything but foreign language class (if you have one), speak in a foreign language.
Write `Gullible' on a piece of paper. Tape that piece of paper to the floor, ceiling, or chalkboard. Then tell everyone there is gullible written on the ___(floor ceiling or chalkboard). If they don't believe you point, then say `Made you look!'
Randomly laugh hysterically
Yell out STOP DROP AND ROLL
Tell your teacher to get ready to evacuate the school, for you are going to pull a fire alarm
Write `objects in mirror are dumber than they appear' on a small mirror. Ask people if they need to borrow your mirror.
Do the above, except on the bathroom mirrors.
Wear tissues on your head
Come into class with sunglasses, and pretend to shoot at your teacher with your fingers. Then loudly whisper `Sorry, I had to get rid of the alien scum'
Pass around a petition against petitions
Raise your hand, act terrified and cry, saying `You didn't have to be so mean!'
If someone speaks over the intercom, curl up in fetal position under your desk and say `It's the voices again.'
Hum `If your happy and you know it' loudly then randomly start to cry
Try to get your class to sing “We don't need no education”
Randomly get up and run a lap around the room, then sit down and act as if nothing had happened.
Get up and get a tissue, then just stand and stare at the tissue. If asked what you are doing by the teacher, claim that you are having a staring contest with the tissue and you're sure you are about to win.
Pretend to slap a fly and then go `mmmm snack time'
Lead your class in a sing-a-long.
Poke the person sitting next to you repeatedly until they get angry, then blame it on your imaginary friend.
Go into class, and then run to the window. Sadly proclaim that your imaginary friend just committed suicide.
Invent an imaginary hamster. Ask everyone if they would like to hold him.
In a creepy voice say to everyone `You will die in seven days' Act like nothing had happened.
(If in a school that requires uniforms) Loudly talk about how one person's uniform
is `so two minutes ago' (even though you are wearing the same thing)
(If in a school with no uniforms) Put on a weird shirt and loudly whisper about every one's bad fashion sense.
Raise your hand and wave it around like you know the answer. Then ask the teacher why they called on you.
Raise your hand and wave it eagerly like you know the answer. Do this for every question. When called on, answer every question `Abraham Lincoln.'
Make up a language and when no one understands it act like they are crazy.
Laugh hysterically and proclaim `You shall all perish! Perish I say!' Act like nothing had happened.
Try to hold a sword fight with rulers.
Ask to go to the bathroom. Get up, run into the wall and pretend to faint. Lay there until someone runs over to help you up, then walk out the door to go to the bathroom.
Purposely drop your pen. Ask someone to pick it up, and when they do defensively say `That's mine!'
Read with your textbook upside-down.
Bring in a pillow and explain “The desk is too hard for sleeping.”
Bring in a pillow and lie in the aisle and pretend to go to sleep.
Walk down the aisle and pretend someone tripped you. Glare at that person for the rest of class.
Get up to sharpen your pencil or find a tissue, then stand up there and look around. Then cry out `I'm lost!'
Create a map of the classroom. Use the map whenever you need to find your seat or a tissue or the pencil sharpener.
Carefully place the tissue box in a certain spot at the beginning of class. In class, scream or gasp and run over to the tissue box, acting like it was moved. Carefully fix it.
Repeat.
Ask if you can teach the class.
Draw caricatures of your teacher. Sign the paper with a classmate's name/initials. Leave the pictures on the classmate's desk.
Act jittery all class, shaking and twitching. Recoil whenever someone passes or tries to touch you.
Knit.
Start a poker game. Try to get your teacher to join.
Wear Mardi Gras beads and a party hat, and throw confetti into the air when school lets out.
Talk about your dream job as a janitor.
Bring a bottle to school. Drink out of it all day. Cry if it gets confiscated.
Act like you're in the army, saluting to teachers and calling them ma'am and sir. March everywhere.
Poke someone.
Twice.
Bring crutches to school.
Ask your teachers if they find sick pleasure in tormenting you.
If a teacher isn't already in the classroom, when they enter, inform them that they are late and should report to the principal.
Put raisins over your teeth and grin widely at everyone you meet.
When you get homework, stand up, outraged, and yell that you're going to sue.
Convince someone to pretend to be your lawyer. Bring them to school the following day.
Dress up as the Phantom of the Opera or Dracula or other cape wearing people. Swish
your cape.
A lot.
Whenever the bell rings or an ambulance/police car passes, yell about the pigs coming to get you, and run out of the classroom.
Like, say `like,' like, a lot…like
Speak with an accent, love.
Do the chicken dance.
If any of these get you in trouble, grumble loudly about how you hate Sharpies


AT WALMART:

As the cashier runs your purchase over the scanner, look mesmerized and say, "Wow, magic!"
Ask other customers if they have any Grey Poupon.
Attempt to fit others into very large gym bags.
Challenge other customers to duels with tubes of gift-wrap.
Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners.
Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission Impossible.
Drag a lounge chair over to the magazines and relax.
Go to the food court, buy a drink, and ask if they can put a little umbrella in it.
Drape a blanket around your shoulders and run around saying, "I'm Batman. Come Robin, to the Batcave."
Follow people through the aisles, staying about 5 feet behind them. Do this until they leave the store.
Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
Go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait a while and then yell loudly "There's no toilet paper in here!"
Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"
Hold indoor shopping cart races.
In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
Leave Cheerios in lawn and garden, pillows in the pet section, etc.
Look right into the security camera, use it as a mirror and pick your nose.
Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
Make up nonsense products and ask employees if there are any in stock. (i.e.: Shnerples)
Move "Caution: Wet Floor" signs to carpeted areas.
Pay off layaways 50 cents at a time.
Play soccer with a group of friends, using the entire store as your playing field.
Play with the automatic doors.
Play with the calculators so that they all spell "hello" upside down.
Randomly throw things over into neighboring aisles.
"Re-alphabetize" the CD's. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.
Relax in the patio furniture until you get kicked out.
Ride a display bicycle through the store; claim you are taking it for a test drive.
Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies."
Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten-minute intervals throughout the day.
Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.
Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they bring pillows from the bed department.
Start playing Calvinball; see how many people you can get to join.
Take bets on the battle from above.
Take off your shoes and tell them you want to return it and when they say you didn't buy it there say, "Hm... I thought the customer was always right!"
Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
Take up an entire aisle in toys by setting up a full-scale battle with G.I. Joe vs.
X-men.
Test the brushes and combs in cosmetics.
Test the fishing rods and see what you can catch from other aisles.
TP as much of the store as possible before they stop you.
Try to hold up customers with the toy guns. See how much you can make.
Tune all the radios to polka stations; then turn them off and turn the volume up to full blast.
Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, 'Code 3' in Housewares and see what happens.
Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi. I haven't seen you in so long." etc. See if they play along.
When 2 or 3 people are walking ahead of you, run between them yelling "Red Rover."
When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!"
When someone steps away from his or her cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.
When there are people behind you, walk really slowly, especially in thin aisles.
While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
While walking through the clothing department, ask yourself loud enough for all to hear, "Who buys this crap anyway?!"

IN GENERAL:

- Wax the ceiling
- Rearrange political campaign signs
- Sharpen your teeth
- Play Houdini with one of your siblings
- Braid your dog's hair
- Clean and polish your belly button
- Water your dog...see if he grows
- Wash a tree
- Knight yourself
- Name your child Edsel
- Scare Stephen King
- Give your cat a mohawk
- Purr
- Mow your carpet
- Play Pat Boone records backwards
- Vacuum your lawn
- Sleep on a bed of nails
- DON'T toss and turn
- Boil ice cream
- Run around in squares
- Think of quadruple entendres
- Speak in acronyms
- Have your pillow X-rayed
- Drink straight shots...of water
- Calmly have a nervous breakdown
- Give your goldfish a perm
- Fly a brick
- Play tag...on West 35th Street
- Exorcise a ghost
- Exercise a ghost
- Be blue
- Be red
- But don't be orange
- Plant a shoe
- Sweat
- Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil
- Turn
- Write a letter to Plato
- Mail it
- Take your sofa for a walk
- Start
- Stop
- Dial 911 and breathe heavily
- Go to a funeral...tell jokes
- Play the piano...with mittens on
- Scheme
- Sit
- Stay
- Water your family room
- Cause a power failure
- Roll over
- Play dead
- Find a witch
- Burn her
- Donate your brother's body to science
- Ask why
- Wriggle
- Regress
- Sleepwalk without sleeping
- Try to join Hell's Angels by mail
- Wonder
- Be a square root
- Ask stupid questions
- Weld your car doors shut
- Spew
- Vacation at Three-Mile Island
- Surf Ohio
- Teach your pet rock to play dead
- Go bowling for small game
- Be a monk...for a day
- Wear a sweatband to your wedding
- Staple
- Run away
- Intimidate a piece of chalk
- Abuse the plumbing
- Bend a florescent light
- Bend a brick
- Annoy total strangers
- Let the best man win
- Believe in Santa Claus
- Throw marshmallows against the wall
- Hold an ice cube as long as possible
- Adopt strange mannerisms
- Blow up a balloon until it pops
- Sing soft and sweet and clear
- Sing loud and sour and gravely
- Open everything
- Balance a pencil on your nose
- Pour milk in your shoes
- Write graffiti under the rug
- Embarrass yourself
- Grind your teeth
- Chew ice
- Count your belly button
- Sit in a row
- Stack crumbs
- Gesture
- Save your toenail clippings
- Make a pass at your blender
- Punt
- Make up words that start with X
- Make oatmeal in the bathtub
- Search for the Lost Chord
- Chew on a sofa cushion
- Sing a duet
- Balance a pillow on your head
- Hold your breath
- Faint
- Stretch
- Flash your mailman
- Teach your TA English
- Learn to speak Farsi
- Swear in Russian
- Use an eraser until it goes away
- Disassemble your car
- Put it together inside out
- Record your walls
- Interview your feet
- Make a list of your favorite fungi
- Sell formaldehyde
- Repeat
- Ad lib
- Fade
- File your teeth - Whine
- Rake your carpet
- Re-elect Richard Nixon
- Critique "Three's Company"
- Listen to a painting
- Play with matches
- Buff your cat
- Race ferrets
- Paint your house...Day-Glow Orange
- Have a formal dinner at White Castle
- Read Homer in the original Greek
- Learn Greek
- Change your mind
- Change it back
- Watch the sun...see if it moves
- Build a pyramid
- Stand on your head
- Stand on someone else's head
- Spit shine your Nikes
- See how long you can stay awake
- See how long you can sleep
- Paint your teeth
- Wear a salad
- Speak with a forked tongue
- Paint stripes on a lake
- Ski Kansas
- Sleep in freefall
- Kill a Joule
- Test thin ice...with a pogo stick
- Apply for a unicorn hunting license
- Do a good job
- Crawl
- Invite the Mansons over for dinner
- Paint your windows
- Watch a watch until it stops
- Flash your goldfish
- Paint
- Flirt with an evergreen
- Smile
- Rotate your garden...daily
- Paint a smile
- Shoot a fire hydrant
- Apologize to it
- Pretend you're blind
- Annoy yourself
- Get mad at yourself
- Stop speaking to yourself
- Be a side effect
- Ride a bicycle...up Mt. McKinley
- Duck
- Redecorate...your garage
- Develop a complex
- Join the Army...be someone simple
- Try harder
- Hit the deck
- Put leg-warmers on your furniture
- Cut the deck
- Crumple
- Translate Shakespeare into English
- Skydive to church
- Cheer up a potato
- Do aerobic exercises...in your head
- Play cards with your swimming pool
- Pinstripe your driveway
- Play Kick the Fire Hydrant
- Harness chipmunk power
- Build a house with ice cubes
- Call London for a cab
- Mug a stop sign
- Change your name...daily
- Go for a walk in your attic
- Challenge your neighbor to a duel
- Build a house out of toothpicks
- Howl
- Wear a lampshade on your head
- Memorize the dictionary
- Stomp grapes in the bathtub
- Find a bug and chase it
- Make yourself a pair of wings
- Be immobile
- Dance 'til you drop
- Check under chairs for chewing gum
- Squish a loaf of bread
- Moo
- Bounce a potato
- Outmaneuver your shadow
- Climb the walls
- Appreciate everything
- Challenge yourself to a duel
- Make napalm
- Tattoo your dresser
- Watch a bowling ball
- Buy some diapers
- Eat everything
- Begin
- Pour milk in the sink
- Make cottage cheese
- Tie-dye your sheets
- Carpet your ceiling
- Hold your earlobes
- Fold your earlobes
- Flap
- Squawk
- Read tea leaves
- Analyze the Koran
- Be Buddha
- Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize
- Plug in the cat
- Turn on everything
- Drop pebbles down the chimney
- Turn off your neighbor
- Kill a plant
- Buy a 1931 Almanac
- Memorize the weather section
- Think lewd thoughts about yourself
- Blow bubbles
- Send chills down your spine
- Peel grapes
- Make paper from the skins
- Bloat
- Catch them with your radiator
- Get run over by a train of thought
- Make up famous sayings
- Bite your pinkie - Get your dog braces
- Shave a shrub
- Have a proton fight
- Watch a car rust
- Quiver
- Rotate your carpet
- Learn to type...with your toes
- Set up your Christmas tree in April
- Be someone special
- Buy the Brooklyn Bridge
- Mail it to a friend
- Go back to square one
- Factor your social security number
- Take the fifth
- Memorize a series of random numbers
- Read the 1962 Des Moines white pages
- Join the Foreign Legion
- Learn Sanskrit
- Exist...existentially, of course
- Print counterfeit Confederate money
- Kick a cabbage
- Take a picture
- Put it back
- Sandpaper a mushroom
- Play solitaire...for cash
- Abuse your patio furniture
- Run for Pope
- Count to a million...fast
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
- Commit seppuku...with a paper knife
- Revert
- Think shallow thoughts
- Starch your shoes
- Polish your Calvin's
- Contemplate a cockroach
- Get a dog to chase your car
- Let him catch it
- Investigate the Czar
- Form a political party
- Climb a sidewalk
- Have a political party
- Get diagonal...with a good friend
- Ride a loaf of bread
- Sharpen a carrot
- Interrogate a gerbil
- Go bow hunting for Toyotas
- Kidnap Cabbage Patch Kids
- Jump back
- Play to lose
- Scalp a street light
- Have your car painted...plaid
- Read a tomato
- Sharpen your sleeping skills
- Watch a game show...take notes
- Put out a fire
- If you can't find a fire, make one
- Interview a cloud
- Play tiddlywinks...go for blood
- Play basketball...in a minefield
- Don't talk to things
- Draw Lewis structures on your ceiling
- Have your cat bronzed
- Have your gerbil gilded
- Write books about writing books
- Create random equations
- Mispell words
- Tell your feet a joke
- Throw a tomato into a fan
- Sing the ABC song backwards
- Pretend you're a dog
- Dial-a-prayer and argue with it
- Grease the doorknobs
- String up a room
- Stack furniture
- Relive fond memories
- Tie your shoelaces together
- Gargle
- Count your teeth with your tongue
- Decay
- Find your half-life
- Design a better toilet seat
- Shred a newspaper
- Have a headache
- Scratch
- Sniff
- Hatch an egg
- Play air guitar
- Act profound
- Spill
- Spell
- Stare
- Truncate
- Slouch
- Develop hearing problems
- Put your feet behind your head
- Tie bows in everything
- Hold your hand
- Watch the minute hand move
- Grow your fingernails
- Pretend you're a telephone
- Ring
- Radiate
- Skip
- Play hopscotch...with real scotch
- Clock the velocity of your REMs
- Put your shoes on the opposite feet
- Cross your toes
- Roll your tongue
- Crystallize
- Baby oil the floor
- Hide
- Attack innocent bunnies
- Declare war
- Destroy a tree
- Hide the scrabble bag
- Seduce your stick shift
- Wink
- Memorize the periodic table
- Mummify
- Pretend you're a roadie
- Buy a Ginsu knife
- Collect electrons
- Correct typos that aren't there
- Polish your neck...use Pledge
- Recopy the Bible substituting your name for God
- Loosen the lug nuts on your dad's new car
- Drop your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet
- Count the bags under Walter Mondale's eyes
- Unscrew all the lightbulbs and rearrange the furniture
- Found the Jim Jones School of Bartending
- Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
- Dress like Motley Crue...surprise your grandmother
- Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong
- Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail
- Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire
- Make a drive-in window at your local bank where there wasn't one before
- Walk on water...but don't get caught
- Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
- Be in the wrong place at the right time
- Plot the overthrow of your local School Board
- Request covert assistance from the CIA
- Discover the source of the Mississippi
- Search for buried treasure...in Nebraska
- Hot wax the bottom of your brother's dress shoes
- Preach the philosophy of Marx...Groucho, that is
- Drink as much prune juice as you can
- Write a book about your previous life
- Serve ping-pong balls...as hors d'oeuvres
- Jump up and down...on your alarm clock
- Make a quilt out of used cocktail napkins
- Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniels
- Carve you and your girlfriend's initials...in a marshmallow
- Drive the speed limit...in your garage
- Sing the national anthem...during your calculus final
- Wear a three-piece suit...in a sauna
- Pay off the national debt...with a bad check
- Go to a cemetary and verbally abuse dead people
- Give yourself a hernia...for Christmas
- Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
- Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster
- See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement
- Go to McDonald's and pretend you can't speak English
- Write to your congressmen, senators, President, etc. to tell them what a good
- job they're doing...On April 1st
- Find the heat capacity of your chemistry professor
- Take apart all your major kitchen appliances...mix and match them
- Turn your TV picture tube upside down
- Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy
- Put lighted EXIT signs on all your closets
- Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
- Be planar...but don't tell your parents
- Play hockey with your little cousin...as the puck
- Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed
- Put instant concrete in your big brother's waterbed
- Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese
- Debate politics with a fern
- See how small you can scrunch your face - Sell firewood door to door...in Atlantis
- Found the TLO (Toledo Liberation Organization)
- Play nuclear chicken with a small third world nation
- Raise professional certified racing turnips
- Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation
- Lead an aerobics class...for patients of the I.C.U.
- Go to a drive-in movie in a tank
- Go to a non-drive-in movie in a tank and drive in anyway
- Send President Reagan an alarm clock...wind it up first
- Found a cockroach stable and stud ranch
- Send your goldfish to obedience school
- Free the oppressed toasters of America
- Weave a tablecloth out of copper tubing
- Give your cat a suntan...in the microwave
- Park your car...with a friend
- Park your car...with a group of friends
- Frame your first statement of bankruptcy
- Place it on the wall of your office
- Solve the population problem (x^2 + y^2 = population...solve for x)
- Contribute to the population problem
- Wear a T-shirt that says "I'll walk on you to see The Who" and a peace sign
- Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
- Find out who made the super glue commercials and give them your Ginsu knife
- Get Ronco and K-tel to merge...they sell the same stuff anyway
- Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night
- Play with anything that looks interesting
- Drop piston engines on two people and see who squishes first
- See if your goldfish can live in Coors rather than water
- Try to ignite water...the Mississippi might work
- Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up
- State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
- Visit the Architecture building...loudly criticize its design
- Make a schematic drawing...of a rock
- Wallpaper your laundry room...with pages from books you don't like
- See if diamonds really do cut glass...on everything in your neighbor's house
- Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while
- See how long you can stare at a fluorescent light...try green
- Bronze your sister's turtle
- See how long it takes for her to notice
- See what she does when she notices
- Bronze your sister- If you lose, stop watering it and try again.
- Increase your territorial holdings by force
- Find out how many ways there really are to skin a cat
- Boldly go where no man has gone before
- Be a threat to the American way of life
- Do research into the cause of World War III
- Be a threat to the Northwestern Tibetan way of life
- Re-establish the Roman Empire...in Pittsburgh



This was my English assignment a couple weeks ago:

RULES:


Do not throw goldfish into an incinerator
and then stand there whistling like you did nothing
Do not yell at the flag that sprays you with water
Do not wear your ID unless you are absent
Do not ask if you can fly out the window
Do not jump in grape pudding
Do not talk to random pigs that walk across the hallway
Do not decorate your eyeballs with Christmas ornaments
Do not take an hour to go visit your worst enemy's mustache
And whatever you DO do, it is better you do not.